25 Facts About Max

Like so many things, my first reaction to the "25 Things" meme was haughty but after a few weeks continued exposure to people's various lists I came around. Without an obvious route to entertaining the audience I think writing about oneself is poor form. That may come as surprise considering my particularly intense self-love and the very fact that I write a blog. However, I feel that, properly done, blogs manage to entertain while simultaneously wallow in self-absorption. It's become apparent that "25 Things" share that quality. Thus, I present 25 Facts About Max:

1. I am didactic. I'm always explaining things to people whether or not they're curious, because if they aren't curious, they ought to be. I'm enriching their lives!

2. I am a critic. Like a movie critic, except of everything.

3. I love to argue. Or at least I have a hard time not instigating arguments and a hard time extricating myself from them. I enjoy the exchange of ideas and the friendly competition.

4. I love getting schooled in an argument. Of course I'm disconcerted at first, because that rarely happens, but it's nice to be reminded that I still have things to learn. Props to Aaron Robinson for schooling me in history this past October.

5. If I thought I had the talent my ideal job would be writing.

6. I'm so sick of hearing about and seeing Obama everywhere. Stop beating him to death! Nobody can hold up to these obscene expectations. He is not Jesus.

7. I bicycle everywhere and almost always take the stairs. This is motivated by impatience rather than by health or environmental considerations.

8. Apparently I have a bit of a lisp. I had no idea until this past summer when I was listening to a recording of my radio show and I mentioned to Brandon that it almost sounded like I had a lisp, and he was like, "Yeah, you do a little."

9. I'm an Eagle Scout. Everyone seems surprised to hear that one. Go figure...

10. I was taught to try anything once. I think my parents meant food, not everything. My dad was pretty disconcerted when I took a puff of his friend's cigar when offered, like I'd transgressed some bond of trust. I'm just extending the rule he taught me so well.

11. That said, addictive substances scare the crap out of me. It has only recently occurred to me that a coffee addiction might be a net positive.

12. I approach my life very analytically. I approach my politics very analytically. People tell me it comes off cold when I approach lifesaving legislation as a numbers game, who knew?

13. That said, I believe logic to be a flawed system. Socrates is a douche.

14. I am a moral relativist and do not believe that any principle is absolute.

15. I consider creativity to be a major component of intellect and I consider intellect to be the most important quality in a person.

16. I grew up in a household culture where we constantly made fun of eachother's quirks and flaws. I love people who can take that sort of abuse and I love still more those who can also dish it out.

17. In the early stages of my music obsession I sold my soul to allmusic.com for it's wisdom. Even now, you'll find my opinions of albums and artists to suspiciously mirror star ratings found on the site.



18. I'm fascinated by the androgyny of glam rock. I think it'd be totally badass to dress like the New York Dolls.

19. Four staples compose the majority of my calorie intake: frozen pizza, potatoes with cheese, chili with rice, and beer.

20. Freshman year I was named "honorary asian" by a group of asian kids on my floor, cause I was better with chopsticks and ate weirder stuff than they did. Later they revoked it, but it was for personal reasons. They just didn't like me anymore. Or maybe I sucked too much at Smash Bros...

21. I grew up helping my dad make wine, yet I prefer beer. Oh the shame. But wine is such a heavy drunk.

22. I own 31 vinyl LPs because it's trendy, but I don't even have a record player.

23. I think we are in the midst of the greatest golden age the world has ever seen.

24. The justification for every financial corner I cut (and I rarely buy required textbooks) is that I am saving up to travel.

25. My first kiss was within the last six months.